football cops

Peyton Manning is obviously a quasi-nemesis to me as a Patriots fan, but that doesn’t mean I can’t salute the guy for embracing his dorkhood and channeling it into things that amuse me.

Fine work, gentlemen. As funny as this commercial is on its own (it’d probably be enjoyable even if the Mannings weren’t famous football players; they’re doofy-looking enough on their own to make the joke work), I don’t know what to say about poor, poor Eli. I know almost nothing about the guy — maybe he’s hilarious and clever — but he certainly doesn’t seem that way. In fact, whereas Peyton’s usually funny due to his self-awareness (he looks amused during the whole thing), Eli almost appears to be taking this seriously.

Maybe it’s because he’s an inexplicably dedicated actor, and he’s simply that emotionally committed to this patently absurd role. Or, more likely, he’s the real-life athletic equivalent of Derek Zoolander, and he’s basically modeling “Derelique” at this point… which would make sense, because I’m pretty sure I sounded like a defeated Mugatu after the younger Manning won the Super Bowl in 2007.

“ELI MANNING IS NOT A GOOD QUARTERBACK!!! HE HAD AN UNBELIEVABLE PASS RUSH FOR ONE SEASON AND HE GOT INCREDIBLY LUCKY ON THREE CRITICAL PLAYS!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS???”

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